I bought the foil, you know, the foil we needed to wrap the cooking sheet before we cooked the pizza. Or rather, baked the pizza. Still not sure which it was, are we cooking or baking? I've never been much of a cook. Or baker. Or chef for that matter.
Nevertheless, the foil is what we needed. Numerous times. I always said I would buy the foil. And somehow I managed to forget. I know it may have seemed insignificant and maybe it was, but I shouldn't have forgotten. I needed it for other things too.
But, you're gone now, so it doesn't matter.
And guess what? I have foil. Strange how things work themselves out. Or don't.
But, it was one of the things I faulted myself on. Not having foil in the kitchen. Not cooking enough.
Not baking or whatever. Not knowing how to deep fry or sautee.
And come to think of it now... How ridiculous.
How ridiculous to think of myself as an incomplete human being because of something so minuscule as foil.
But, that's how it was and that's how you were.
The madness of it all. What would you think? What would you say?
And now, I'm just too tired for any of it.
I'm too tired for the foil, for the games, for the intense, anxious anticipation. And where has it gotten me?
It wasn't just you. You're just a number in the grand scheme of relationships or close encounters.
A potential relationship where we pretend to be someone we're not.
Why fool ourselves? Why lie? Why bother with the pleasantries?
What's the fucking point?
I'll trade in the warm body lying next to mine. That's tough. Considering I enjoy that so much more than sex.
I'll trade in the dependence. I'll be stronger and more independent in time.
I'll trade in the control and the maliciousness and focus on the intricate corners of my own soul.
I don't need you and I never really needed foil.
But foil is here now and you're not.
At least foil serves a purpose.
