The Mess That's Me

I'm a mess
I'm complicated
I'm weird
I'm strange
I say illogical things in quiet serious moments
I laugh when I'm crying
I snort when I laugh too hard
I laugh much louder than I speak
I sweat in weird places when I'm nervous
I'm super inappropriate
I curse in a way that's not cute
I spill too many secrets about myself
I apologize more than I should
I still check under my bed
I turn on all the lights when I'm lonely
I have the hardest time finishing a book
I have the hardest time finishing a painting
I have the hardest time just plain finishing anything
I still eat like a teenager
I have no clue what a real diet consists of
I can't stop at one glass of wine
I complain about the smallest things
I hold in the bigger things
I sometimes don't know what I'm trying to say
I know exactly what I'm feeling
I have enormous regrets
I wish I could take back so much
I feel like I don't give enough
I don't know when to stop giving
I don't know when to let go
I don't know how to give up
I still blush when I look at you
I wish that you would think about me
I think about you more than you would think
I wish I could tell you
I still love you
I'm afraid that
I don't know if I'll ever stop

Time Is A Tricky Lil' Son of Another

Time is a tricky lil son of another

a surreal, paradise-intoxicating island

a stalling moment of a desirable, favorable chance

a stretch of hope of love and yearning rapture in a man

The years sleep so awkwardly and perplexingly

everything appears to lay on the palm of your hand

an enchanting moment of harmonious guitar-strummed amity

a connection only true lovers can

Achieve in a way that only time can

have a crazy effect on, can close abstract gaps

a miracle of untouchable willing faith

a smidgen of happiness smug on your lap

Not knowing the inevitable

a heavy hesitation of the future happy hourglass

Can we flip it over and over

I want to, have to, need to know it will last

Time is a tricky lil' son of another

moment in the span of our superior-seeming universe

when, oh when, can we get it right?

Because I'm weary of our long, fiery games

of this muddy verse in need of a final broken curse.

4 AM Quote

"And if you're still up at 4 a.m., you are in love or lonely, and I don't know which one is worse."  Ramandeep Singh quotes